I need to get out more.
The other day I had plans for the evening. And not ‘pretending I have to pick something up from the store as an excuse to leave the house alone’ plans, but honest-to-goodness be-there-at-a-set-time-people-are-expecting-you plans. And you guys – I was excited. Like, ‘Yay! I get to go out tonight’ excited. Shower, dress up, do my makeup excited. And this is good, right? It is nice to get out and do things. Except I wasn’t heading out for a nice dinner or an evening with a friend. There was no date night or female bonding event in the works. No. I had to attend a meeting for a preschool that my son will be attending in the fall.
I dressed up to go to a preschool meeting.
I mean, I wasn’t in a cocktail dress,I’m not insane, (insert maniacal laughter here), but I wore a cute top and skinny jeans with boots. And heels. And I am not even kidding you, one of the other parents there showed up in pajama pants. So, yeah, I think I overdid it.
The weird thing is I feel like I get out a lot. We have tons of play dates, exciting adventures and outings, and even little trips here and there. Most of these things even involve meeting up with other adults! It is just that I almost always have my kids with me. And if you are a parent, you know – when you have little ones, you just can’t relax and have a good conversation with another adult. And if that other adult also has little ones in tow? Forget it. The conversation will play out like this.
Adult 1: Hi! So nice to see you! How are you?
Adult 2: I’m really good! Tired, but good. How about you?
A1: Well we are renovating our place right now so it-
A2: Jimmy! Put that down! No. No, those are BBQ tongs. Those aren’t a toy. Sorry, you said you’re renovating? What room?
A1: The kitchen! We are doing our cup- hold on a sec, I have to grab Suzy down, she seems to have climbed that fence.
Pause while A1 saves her child from certain death. A1 returns.
A1: Yeah, so we’re demolishing our cup- Oh, um, you might want to turn around. Is Jimmy allowed to pour his own juice?
A2: Jimmy!! JIMMY! You can’t pour that by yourself sweetheart. That is too heavy for you. Let Mommy help you.
A2 goes over, pours juice, returns.
A2: Ok. Cupboards. Painting them or redoing them entirely?
A1: Well, we –
A2: Oh shoot. Where’s Johnny? Jimmy, where’s your brother? Excuse me one second.
A2 searches the yard, finds Johnny has let himself in the house and climbed the staircase. Retrieves baby from certain death. Returns.
A1 is no longer there. A2 doesn’t even notice because she is taking a toy away from Jimmy and the kid he won’t share with.
A1: Sorry, the baby needed a diaper change. Where were we?
A2: You were just telling me about your kitchen reno- JIMMY! We don’t hit. Come here please. No, now. JIMMY. COME HERE NOW.
(Insert conversation between A2 and child about using our words and sharing. A1 doesn’t notice because she is having her own conversation with Suzie about why Suzie cannot have a third Popsicle)
A2: Sorry about that. Children, amiright?
A1: Tell me about it. Oh, it looks like my husband is getting ready to pack up. It has been really nice talking to you!
A2: Yes! So great to catch up.
Yeah. Quality conversation right there.
So as you probably know, if your kids are out with you, unless Dad or Grandma has taken over full responsibility and you are hiding in part of the house where the kids can’t find you, adult conversation of any substance is pretty hard to achieve, which is why I get so excited on the nights I get to go out alone with other adults!
I get to speak in whole sentences and don’t have anyone smearing peanut butter down the front of my shirt. I can finish complex thoughts without pausing to solve a crisis or intervene in a slap fight. I can brush my hair and it won’t get immediately tangled in a baby’s fingers. So what if all I am doing is discussing parent participation hours and snack rotation. It still counts as being out, right?
Yeah, I definitely need to get out more.
This post has been linked up to some other fabulous blog posts: