Why I Don’t Get Anything Done

I was feeling really good about myself this week because I was staying on top of housework like a professional and my kitchen was clean and sparkly even  while dinner was being served (and it wasn’t take-out!). I was patting myself on the back until yesterday when I looked around my kitchen and living room and it looked like a bomb had gone off. What happened? Why for the last 3 days have I cooked meals and kept things tidy at the same time, and all of a sudden today I am burning things and the place is a disaster?

And then, as I was removing the baby from the counter that he’d climbed onto, I realized the problem. For the last 3 nice & clean days,  the baby had taken extra long naps and I’d made dinner with only a peaceful 3 year old to watch, but today? Today, the baby was awake during dinner prep.

This baby is different than my first. I didn’t have to baby-proof anything with number 1, besides hiding medicines and poisons because I think even the worst parents among us have that one figured out. But drawers and cabinets I didn’t have to worry about. Sure, he’d take out pots and pans and Tupperware to play with but it was no big deal. This kid, though? He is into everything.

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Exhibit A: Inside the bathroom cabinet, finding things and either eating them or throwing them on the floor.

The toilet scrubber and the plunger have to exist ON the counter top , otherwise this occurs:

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Yeah, it’s blurry but did you really want me to let him hold it even longer so I could take 12 photos?

And those are just minor offenses. It’s the constant getting him down from places he shouldn’t be that prevents me from doing any task for more than 30 seconds at a time.

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He gets up to this pass through via the back of the couch. The other day he grabbed a dirty cup from beside the sink and helped himself to some water, which means now we are not just at risk of him falling, but also at risk of him burning himself and/or flooding my house. And no, there’s no where else to put the couch that isn’t totally in the way.

Here’s what that one looks like from behind (on a different day, of course, because this happens often):

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This kid climbs on EVERYTHING.

Yeah, he’s not supposed to be on any of those surfaces.

The bathroom is the worst. The downstairs bathroom has a sliding door which he can open, so unless I buy some sort of specially designed kid safe latch (which I don’t want to do, because the 3 year old needs to be able to easily use the potty), I just have to wait out this phase. (It IS a phase right? Please tell me this is a phase…)

And this is why I never clean the bathtub unless this monster is sleeping:

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This looks incredibly uncomfortable, right? He does it ALL THE TIME.

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Yeah, he is DEFINITELY not supposed to be up there.

Also, the bedroom door must remain closed at all times. Our bed is really high (it has storage space underneath it, THE BEST) and this guy can get up without issue, but then will just try to jump right off the edge. So far he has fallen twice. I have caught him mid-air at least 7 times. 20160504_124516

Yes, that side table is supposed to be attached to the bed. Take that complaint up with my husband.

In his defense, other than the bed-diving, he is actually very good at getting down from wherever he gets up to, and we’re at the point now where I kind of just let him climb most things unless it appears death is imminent. I mean, at least he can get his own books off the bookshelf, right?

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Look at those shorts. He was obviously helping with the baking!

I look forward to him being a little older so when he’s awake I can get a little more done, but as my husband pointed out, then I’ll just be spending my time refereeing the two boys and their wrestling matches so maybe achieving things is just a pipe dream for now.

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**For the record, if you are worried about my baby’s safety, like, ‘Why are you taking pictures rather than getting him down?” I assure you at the point I started taking photos, he was doing all of these things on the regular and has gotten very adept at them. Also, this blog is about my terrible parenting decisions, so you shouldn’t be surprised.

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8 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Get Anything Done

  1. i simply have to apologise to you…instead of getting all huffy and judgemental “why is that poor baby under a sink” or “why can’t that woman control that poor baby?” I sat here literally laughing off ten pounds……………….Mine survived without major hospitalization…I assume he will too. Good luck sweetie.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My 15 month old started climbing a few weeks ago and we are transitioning from 2 naps to 1. It is insanity in our house right now!

    Like

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