So I might be the only person in the whole world who has been proposed to without having any idea that it happened. Right now you may be thinking that in some romantic moment he had some elaborate but cryptic plan and I was just too blonde to realize this grandiose proposal was happening. I assure you, you are very wrong. Lower your expectations and read on.
It’s December 2005. Future Husband’s sister is engaged to be married in Edinburgh, Scotland, in the middle of February, and Future Husband (FH) is talking about going. I really want to go. We’re not married, but I think of her as family. I don’t want to miss her wedding, but traveling together pre-marriage can be tough. For one thing, his whole family would be staying in her small apartment, meaning I’d have to find my own accommodation somewhere and without endless funds, that could be difficult.
Also, we only get two weeks vacation, and though we weren’t engaged, we wanted to get married maybe that year, and using our whole two weeks vacation at the beginning of the year meant not having any time for a honeymoon should we end up getting married in 2006 sometime.
We’re in the middle of discussing this when FH says, “Well why don’t we just get married before the trip, and make it our honeymoon?”. I laugh and say, “Sure”, thinking it was just another of his many suggestions that had come up over the years, (What if we get engaged six months from now, and then married a year later? Or, “What if we get engaged in a year, and then married a few months after that?” ), which are then completely abandoned if I ever mention them again. (Me, the next day: “So, you were really thinking we might be married sometime next year?” Him: “No, why would you think that?”)
Why should I think that this, “Lets get married before the wedding” suggestion was any different? So I go about my business. A few days later FH is talking to his father on the phone, and tells him that we bought our plane tickets for his sister’s wedding. FH’s dad is concerned the bride may be getting cold feet (she wasn’t, she’s just a more dramatic version of every bride who goes through the ‘Is this the right choice?’ moment leading up to the big day). FH reassures his dad that it doesn’t matter if the wedding happens, or not, because we’re getting married and the Scotland trip will be our honeymoon.
And I freeze. Whaaaaaa? What did he just say?? He hangs up the phone and I’m like, “What do you mean, it’s going to be our honeymoon?” and he says, “Didn’t we agree we’d get married before the trip?”
And BAM. That is when I realize I had been engaged for 3 days. Super romantic right? We picked a date (5 weeks from this moment of revelation) and called the family, most of whom asked if I was pregnant. (No, but thanks for your faith in me). About two weeks before the wedding, FH took me out for dinner, then for a walk to a little bench on the top of a hill on Granville Island, got down on one knee and formally proposed. He said some lovely heartfelt things which I cannot remember for the life of me, and put the ring on my finger. It was a little anti-climactic, but did feel a lot more real once I had the ring on. And at least this time I knew it had happened.